Murphy's Law (from Wikipedia): an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong".
I fear if I continue to tell about days like I had here, people will either stop believing me, or they'll grow tired of my schtick and only pay attention again if I one day have a post that simply says:
Today, nothing weird happened. At all.
And then everyone would start reading again because "did you hear that nothing happened to Dana? That is CRAZY!"
Sigh. But I promise, "What's With Today, today?" is the rule of my life and "nothing weird happened" is absolutely the exception.
I give you- Exhibit A: This Week.
I told you I was on the hunt for a new work project and I finally started one this Monday. Which, of course, always involves a learning curve - new coworkers, new clients, new people at the office you have to learn to watch out for, like the guy who told me he wanted to BITE MY HAND on a project a couple years ago...
You know, normal office stuff.
And you know how I had crazy computer issues a couple weeks ago? And met the hippies with the shark tooth here? Well hang with me; this is going to get convoluted ...
TWO WEEKS AGO: my personal computer got a virus and freaked out - when I was trying to turn in homework. The Geek Squad at Best Buy charged me nearly $200 to fix it but they added an anti-virus thingy (I already had tried TWO other ones....) and gave me a year's warranty and said I was good to go.
TWO NIGHTS AGO: I GOT THE SAME %*@#*$% VIRUS....also while trying to turn in homework. Seriously!? So my personal laptop had to go back to the Geeks.
Meanwhile, my work laptop is older than Betty White and not only takes 3 years to do anything, but sometimes it just freezes up for no reason. So I finally got my company to give me a new one, but I was told I needed to run out to one place to pick it up, then run out to a different place to have my data transferred.
YESTERDAY: I was only supposed to work a half day on my new project - but they ended up asking me to help longer...after I was already on my way to:
-Best Buy to drop off my personal laptop
-somewhere in Northern Virginia to get my new work laptop
-and the GAS STATION across the street to get my State Inspection done on my car....
....Why was that urgent you ask? Because I've now had two tickets for not updating my inspection and I could no longer plan my life around whether or not my car would have to be parked somewhere vulnerable to VA Police...
This is so how my life works.
So now I'm trying to do work in between all these things I'd meant to do in the morning - when I wasn't supposed to work - but it's really hard to do work ...with no computer.
And typically I'd get work emails on my personal blackberry -- but that recently stopped working too.
Again - so typical.
So after I get my inspection done, I get back to my house and continue trying to work on my dinosaur computer as much as I can until I get my new work laptop. And I walk in - and realize my fly was down the entire time I was at the gas station.
Then I head out to pick up my new work laptop and the following things occur:
-I try to put the Best Buy receipt for my other laptop in my car's console, while I'm driving. The console will not open. I finally yank it open at a stop light and realize I had shut it on the cord that ghetto-rigs my iPod into my radio. Ugh.
-I try to lean back and relax - and bang my knee on my steering wheel, painfully realizing we also have funny bones in our knees. I believe the State Inspection guy moved my seat up. Ugh.
-My wallet falls in the floor - and vomits coins AGAIN.
-I swerve to avoid what looks like a big rock - and I hit said rock and it makes a noise as if it just gutted the undercarriage of my car. Ugh.
-I get back and realize I may have accidentally thrown away a $25 gift certificate that was lying on my front seat. Ugh.
-but that was only AFTER I can't even GET IN MY GARAGE for a bit because some man has LEFT HIS CAR with THE DOORS OPEN in the driveway, blocking me and another car from getting in. I would've just started laughing at that point but I was too busy wishing him a painful death.
I go into D.C. to have my data transferred to my new work laptop by a nice IT guy from my company.
I come back and realize my fly was down.
YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP PEOPLE.
I then proceed to dig through my trash for that $25 gift certificate, then go back out to my car:
And find the gift certificate.
I also find - THE SHARK'S TOOTH (aaand we've come full circle) which I guess had fallen out of my wallet when it vomited on my floorboard. Somewhere, there are two hippies laughing...
Later, I start to go for a run and remember my left tennis shoe now has a hole in the heel and hard plastic is sticking out. I go to find my other pair - they have THE SAME(!)PROBLEM. Which means I now have to spend about an hour and a half BUYING SHOES so I can run for about 50 minutes.
So then, frankly, I was a little scared to run, because who KNOWS what would happen next??
(thankfully nothing happened and I'm now